I recently found out my spine is slipping down my ass. If that doesn’t suck enough, I have also fractured a vertebrae and have to have pine fusion surgery. I can barely sit or stand without pain and can’t do the simple things like take out my trash or vacuum. The worst part is, I can’t even enjoy the heavy duty pain meds my Doc has put me on. This sucks. At least it isn’t cancer.
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Everyday I wake up to the same thing. A random chic from the night before. An empty job with little promise. Some where a long the line I lost my identity. I never wanted to be stuck behind a cork wall, let alone strapped to a desk like a ball and chain. Where did it go wrong… |
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Yesterday evening there was a super cute girl in the subway in front of me. I was doing my best to have a cool position and look clever while reading my book - and intermittently smiling at her. First, despite my insistent smiling, she didn’t smile back and i must have looked weird. And then, when I stood up at my station, the “cool Fonzie-type position” had given me pins and needles in my legs and i miserably stumbled to the door …. |
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I went running yesterday evening for an hour. I’ve been passed by 18 girls, that’s one every 3mn. I had troubles breathing. Half of them didn’t even sweat. So much for my pride tonight ….. |
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I’ve lived all my life fearing that the picture someone took of me while I was 8 running naked in a field on a very cold day during a class trip would surface. It did today. On Facebook. And I was tagged. To all of my 300+ friends: life sucks …. |
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I have nothing else to do at work this morning than to browse that kind of crappy sites … |
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yesterday evening i was seating at a terrace, and saw a friend on the other side of the street. won’t call him again soon … |
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During my last german oral exam (an analysis of a business situation), after 5mn fighting (struggling?) with declensions, the examinator asked me to finish in english … |
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Last Sunday, my 6 year old thought it was a good idea to bury his teddy bear Gildo - who apparently died fighting a G.I. Joe …. - the same way we buried Martin, his goldfish. It took me 2 hours to unclog the toilet and sponge the bathroom … |
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Today I had a meeting in which I was presenting the marketing plan of my dept for the next quarter. When I asked my assistant “how do i look ?”, she didn’t tell me my fly was open. |
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yesterday evening we celebrated a new contract with some colleagues. i was soaked in vodka and knackered when i got home, but did my best to not wake up my girlfriend. |
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when i was young, on a saturday night while my parents were out, i turned on TV to an adult channel, lied down on the living room sofa, and waited for the free porn (”free porn, free porn !!!”) to start. but i was tired, very tired - and fell asleep. next thing i know, my parents wake me up laughing at me, my pants are on my knees, and a german couple is having “adult fun” on tv …. life sucks sometimes …!! |
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i arrived in the lunch room today, about 12 people already siting at the table. i’m happy, it’s nice out, and i launch a loud “hello everyone !”. of course, nobody replies to me (besides the cleaning lady). |
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today, i went commando to a picnic with friends in the park. did that to please my girlfriend - she seems to like that. |
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for the third time this month my card is being refused while paying for dinner …. |
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This morning, as my boyfriend was about to leave the apparment to get to work (big meeting), I realized he was wearing a brown and a black shoe (he is stressed). I called him to stop him before he closed the door. |
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yesterday evening, i had an epiphany: if i can watch my neighbors in the opposite building in the evening, so can they. i had that epiphany naked, as i am naked all the time at home. |
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I was with this girl a couple of years ago and the first time we had sex, when I finished, she looked at me really bored and said “That’s it?”… Life sucks sometimes! |
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This happened a couple of years ago while I was doing an internship in France. My boss told me he had a meeting, since we shared the same office, I knew this meant I would be alone for a while. That’s when I decided to make myself confortable and let this awful fart out. Well the second the smell started to spread my boss came back into the office saying that the meeting was cancelled. He had a weird look on his face though and said “I think we have a dead rat behind a wall… Ooh that smell!”, while looking at me with a smile… |
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A family trip to the water park turned into more than I bargained. My sister and I waited for over an hour at the boogie board ride. A foot bridge offered those waiting a view on those showing off their skills on the ride. Finally, my turn came. I swooped into the ride, going up one side, then promptly falling off the board and having the rush of the water swiftly remove my trunks to reveal to those waiting my full frontal self. My trunks washed away and I was left to chase after them naked. |
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