One time I was severely wronged in an insurance case. I had a van engaged in transportation on a meter basis, and a drive I had employed as a temp made a simple accident, backing into another car. His fault, nothing to do about that. But the car he backed into was a complete rusty wreck, valued at close to nothing (by the insurance company themselves). They fixed the car for about the same price of the value, so the “unlucky” other part got a car in a lot better shape. My part of the payment was quite substantial, so I went to complain. I was complaining that the insurance company approved the claim, even without seeing the car in the repair shop. I usually keep calm, but this guy really pissed me off with his arrogance. When I finally realized I had been screwed and there was nothing to do, I told him something, left his office and went across the hall to leave, and slammed the door shut. It closed with a loud bang, a really impressive exit that I did not expect, as the noise was so loud. But then I was even more surprised, as I found myself in the mens room, as I had taken the wrong door. When I left the mens room again, the insurance man was just laughing at me, while I found the right door to leave the building. Shortly after, I changed all my insurances to a more sensible insurance company.
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I can’t help but laugh when someone trips. It’s funny! I was at the movies when I saw a silhouetted figure move across the screen, making his way to the aisle. He tripped! I busted out laughing. He didn’t get up. He was having a heart attack. The paramedics came and took him away on a stretcher. Now, I’m the asshole who laughed at a man who was having a heart attack. |
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I live with my mother and my little brother. Yesterday, they both spent the night with their boyfriend and girlfriend, while I was playing world of warcraft. that was pathetic …… ! |
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I had to do my first orthotics for the NY Marathon. So, I get this very good doctor. He made me a lot of tests, it took an hour. He even filmed me while I was running on a treadmill. Unfortunately, I was not aware that he had to see my entire legs, and not only my feet… I was wearing a leopard printed g-string …. Life sucks. |
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Why does my grandma always have to wait for family reunions to tell me very loudly (she’s almost deaf) in front of everyone that I should hurry up to find someone before my apricot have withered. Love that lovely lonely silent moment …. |
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Sunday, because of a violent pain in my back, I went to the chiropractor. I was so happy I could find someone to work on me on a Sunday. This f****cker massaged me for 5mn and then put me under a kinda warm electric blanket for 45mn and watched the Spain-Italy soccer game, the very game I missed because of my pain ! And of course, charged me $250 for a Sunday consultation …. |
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why are the emails i receive with a subject that says “i have to tell you…” always for penis enlargement and never real secret love letters ?? |
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this morning, there was a good looking girl in the subway and we exchanged a few smiles during the trip. we came out at the same station, so i played cool and ran up the stairs jumping 4 steps at a time. but i missed one … and fell like a big old drunk sea lion … |
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my niece found it funny yesterday evening to put all of her pokemon decals on my neck and face. i didn’t think i would have to use a pumice stone for an hour to get them off. i look super cool for my meeting this morning, i’m red as a tomato. F%&k … |
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by the way, the next day she called me saying that it was wrong and she never would have made out with me if she hadn’t been drunk. |
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Saturday, I finally made out with the girl I’m in love with. I walked her back to her place …. to eventually spend 2 hours holding her hair over the toilet as she was drunk sick. Life sucks …! |
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Yesterday, I slept at my girlfriend’s. After a long shower in the morning, I tumbled singing out loud in the living room, naked. Her mother had arrived to bring us cakes for breakfast. She congratulated me for my voice. Hmmmm……. |
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This morning in sport class, after explaining the rules of a game he made up, the prof turned to me and asked if I understood. I approved. Then in front of the entire class, he laughed: “Well if Peter understood, I guess every body did ?”. Life sucks … |
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Yesterday I lost a crown chewing gum. It was the most expexensive gum ever: $1,200. |
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This morning I farted in the elevator. I thought it would be a silent one. I was wrong. |
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A guy I really like at work, smart, unaccessible, good looking and always well dressed, finally asked me out. |
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I recently found out my spine is slipping down my ass. If that doesn’t suck enough, I have also fractured a vertebrae and have to have pine fusion surgery. I can barely sit or stand without pain and can’t do the simple things like take out my trash or vacuum. The worst part is, I can’t even enjoy the heavy duty pain meds my Doc has put me on. This sucks. At least it isn’t cancer. |
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Everyday I wake up to the same thing. A random chic from the night before. An empty job with little promise. Some where a long the line I lost my identity. I never wanted to be stuck behind a cork wall, let alone strapped to a desk like a ball and chain. Where did it go wrong… |
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Yesterday evening there was a super cute girl in the subway in front of me. I was doing my best to have a cool position and look clever while reading my book - and intermittently smiling at her. First, despite my insistent smiling, she didn’t smile back and i must have looked weird. And then, when I stood up at my station, the “cool Fonzie-type position” had given me pins and needles in my legs and i miserably stumbled to the door …. |
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I went running yesterday evening for an hour. I’ve been passed by 18 girls, that’s one every 3mn. I had troubles breathing. Half of them didn’t even sweat. So much for my pride tonight ….. |
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