Archive for the 'dating' Category

Tails I lose

So I ask out this girl. I take her to your typical downtown fancy restaraunt. I’m tall, blonde hair, very athletic, and am a medical doctor. Can’t go wrong.

Mid way through appetizers my stomach starts feeling bad. I make a few trips to the bathroom. On the third trip back my dates face is beet red. I ask her what’s wrong she says there’s a stream of toilet paper dangling from the back of your pants. I turn to find 4 feet of toilet paper, a veritible streamer, trailing me. Oh and everyone one in the place saw it. She excuses herself and doesn’t return.
My life sucks!!!!

This post was submitted by Chad.

On September 23rd, 2008, in dating. 1 comment
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Imitation

My friend, who I happen to be head over heels for, did something rather odd this morning. He walked into me, but in the way where you can tell he meant to do it just to touch me. That’s what I thought.

When he walked by again, I moved just a bit closer, so that his shoulder would touch mine. The result? A disgusted stare, and a ‘What the heck?’ Of course, everyone in the room saw my obvious display of desire, and watched me get rejected. Not fun.

This post was submitted by stupid.

On September 22nd, 2008, in dating. No comments yet
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guys suck

Okay…so I was at a party with a guy that I’m totally gooey over. Love him, love to think about him, so on, so forth. But apparently I’m not good enough for him. He wanted me and some other chick, (that I happen to loathe with a passion) to fool around together just to, you know, “get him hot” What a dick. Now, I’m not stuck up. I’ve done unspeakable things in the bedroom, but why did this guy have ruin what admiration I had for him? he has horrible taste. a taste for the girl i HATE…..life sucks, and here I am, making my ears pop…oh well, screw him. i dont want a guy who would actually f**k that hole anyway….

This post was submitted by numbskull.

On September 13th, 2008, in dating. No comments yet
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Sex? what’s that?

I can sympathize with the comments from the guy earlier. I’m similar to him… just the nice guy that girls like, but dont wanna sleep with. I have tons of friends that are girls, but never girlfriends… I’m 38, live at home and have had sex with 1 girl my whole life… that’s right ONE(only dated for about a month). Over the past 10 years I’ve spent about $30,000 in strip clubs. stupid, stupid, stupid. My logic is: sure, I can see free porn everyday on the internet, but to get beyond the 1 dimensional and get to see tits and pussy, might as well go to a tittie bar cause I dont get it anywhere else… Might as well put my $$ down the toilet cause I dont see it anymore and I dont get anything special benefits there… that’s all I’ll spare you for now…

This post was submitted by Sam.

On September 10th, 2008, in dating. No comments yet
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vibrating bench

my buddy and I were sitting on a wooden bench on a rooftop terrace with two super cute chicks on the other side of the table. my bag was on the bench, between my friend and I.
at some point, my buddy tells me: “dude, i think your phone is vibrating in your bag !”. at this moment, we both saw my phone, on the table.
we all understood in a loud (and very VERY embarrassing) silence that my stomach didn’t put up with the indian food I had earlier …

This post was submitted by vibrator.

On July 15th, 2008, in dating. No comments yet
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probably

Why does my grandma always have to wait for family reunions to tell me very loudly (she’s almost deaf) in front of everyone that I should hurry up to find someone before my apricot have withered. Love that lovely lonely silent moment ….

This post was submitted by single.

On June 24th, 2008, in dating. No comments yet
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don’t tell anyone

why are the emails i receive with a subject that says “i have to tell you…” always for penis enlargement and never real secret love letters ??

This post was submitted by love.

On June 23rd, 2008, in dating. No comments yet
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clean hair

Saturday, I finally made out with the girl I’m in love with. I walked her back to her place …. to eventually spend 2 hours holding her hair over the toilet as she was drunk sick. Life sucks …!

This post was submitted by why me .....

On June 23rd, 2008, in dating. 1 comment
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bbq sauce

A guy I really like at work, smart, unaccessible, good looking and always well dressed, finally asked me out.
He took me to a bbq restaurant, ate like a pig, spit while talking his mouth full, burped a few times, and eventually tried to kiss me in his car putting his hands full of bbq sauce in my hair ….
Disenchantment …. !!

This post was submitted by kissme.

On June 19th, 2008, in dating. No comments yet
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credit card

for the third time this month my card is being refused while paying for dinner ….
i just don’t care, sleeping alone is cool …

This post was submitted by looser.

On June 10th, 2008, in dating. 1 comment
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