My Life Sucks - Big Time … !

I’m a girl who dated a black male, twice……Can’t believe he used me, and had the nerve to read my diary, not my fault that every woman in his life has cheated on him and he has trust issues….. Then he tells me he’s gay…. ‘again.’ O Lord, bring me the psychotherapy. When will I learn that people never change…and turn out to stab you in the back after you break up. Can’t believe he told everyone that it was my fault for listening to my parents, and can’t believe that he never told his family that he looked up gay bath houses on the internet at my parents HOUSE years ago…that’s why I broke up with him the first time. Like I said, people never change. I have prayed with him, for him, casted out his demons, but he keeps bringing them back….it’s not my job to save him, he makes his own decisions and when he fails, it’s not my fault. I want him to feel so guilty for ruining my life, i want him to feel the hurt and pain that he put on me…but most of all, I want him to feel sorry for what he did, sometimes I feel like he didn’t even care for how I felt. He was so concerned on getting me pregnant and marrying me, to avoid being gay. He would never stop, he always put guilt on me when I asserted myself.
I’m depressed, tired of loving living and learning. Just tired.