Ok…So I don’t have a reason why my life sucks, it just does. You know sometimes its hard to breath and the fact you are stuck in a body you don’t want to be in sometimes just takes my breath away its so painful. How can the most horrible people I have met been born into the most beautiful bodies and I am still me. I am the girl guys look past to get to the pretty ones. I am the girl that is just living and not living life. I am the girl that even though I say nothing and mind my own business people still feel the need to make fun of me and to be horrible to me. Like I don’t feel bad about myself already..Like I need their help to feel worthless. Now I am 25 and I still feel the same helplessness I felt when I was 15. Isnt this feeling supposed to have gone by now? I thought i was supposed to feel mature and adult. I still feel like the little ugly duckling i was back then. When does it change I keep waking up wondering if today is the day I will feel normal. Do you know what it is like to not feel comfortable in your own skin??? to not even know who you are after 25 years. who am I? I am a nobody and that i could even live with but im not even a happy nobody I’m just me who has friends, none Ive ever felt truely close too. A boyfriend who I am almost positive doesnt like me, we have been together 6 years and have a beautiful baby together who is my only great acomplishment. Yet I feel his hate spitting onto me daily. ANd I stay cos lets be honest no one else would ever want me. Because I’m not normal I’m an oddball. So any words of advice would be greatly appriecated and I don’t want to hear any bullshit cli’ches because you can say them as much as you want but the don’t work. So my life sucks, I prefer my dreams to my life and after ten years nothings changed which leads me to the conclusion it probably never will. ANd I’m stuck here. Just breathing.
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I do knw who you are or how you look like so i cannot be certain that you are really ugly or fat or what and maybe you are, but there is nothing you can do about it even tomorrow you will still be you and you will still be ugly and fat. for your information missy, guys do not go for beauty, we go for the personality, if beauty was the main factor alot of people would be alone including you. I think you should stop being such a bitch and stop being insecure and know that “we are what we say we are”. if you start loving yourself maybe people will start loving you too and maybe you will see that you boy friend loves you.
In reply to your lovely letter, I don’t think I’m being a bitch I don’t even think I’m being insecure I’m just venting my feelings out after a bad day and being honest. I don’t really think calling me a bitch is helpful either, and even though I’m sure not all guys a pigs, to say that guys go for personality and not beauty is laughable. LAughable and a bold face lie. So come on mate I’ll definetely listen to your thoughts and even your critisism, but I’m not niaeve and definetely not stupid. Guys may dump a girl if her personality sucks but what got them there in the first face is her looks. And half the reason I let my feelings out on the internet where I’m unknown and not to my friends etc. is because I get told I’m being silly and yada yada yada, pretty much exactly what you have written above, which honestly ‘dude’ if thats what you are (personality and not looks chuckle chuckle!!) doesnt help me in any way. BUt thank you for your input and for calling me an insecure bitch, once again man never dissapoints me.lol you did cheer me up though by being exactly what I expected thank youxo
Listen to your dreams, they may be telling you something..the only advice that I can offer is something one of my good friends said to me once when I thought life was a fucked up central location and I had no stamina, no drive nothing to excite me…he said it is as easy as letting go…I thought yeah right…how do you let go???? Just like hanging from a tree limb feeling like you are 100 feet off of the ground, but you are just inches actually..then let go..
I don’t know if any of this makes sense to you right now. But sleep on it, and where you feel life let you down, let it go…..Best wishes to you and your baby, you will always make good decisions for yourself and your child…we are just built that way
Alison,
You are right that men and women are usually looking for someone who is attractive to them, but you are putting all the weight of attraction on looks. Your interests, dreams, sense of humor, the way you laugh, the boldness of your eyes, your shyness and many other factors fall into who will find you attractive. If your boyfriend makes you feel so poorly then leave him. You and your baby will be better off. Once you find your own place and settle in dive into a your favorite hobbies and network out through the web etc to talk to more people on your interests and hobbies as you learn more and more on things that you are really interested in. In the goal of finding yourself, and enjoying your hobbies and interestes, you are very likely to find the man who is looking for someone just like you. Maybe who you are looking for sill be at that next event. Remember that happiness comes from within and people can see and feel that. Becoming comfortable with yourself is also attractive. No matter what you choose. Choose for yourself and your child as you both need the same space to grow. Best wishes, Eric
Aww I sympethize.. I personally think I’m awesome… even though I’m a girl, I’m still pretty muscular for my age and I can beat people up because of my sharp knuckles and stuff. So I don’t really care what my body looks like.. I just care what it does. That may help! Also, if it makes you feel confident, you can get an awesome haircut (which i tried) get more clothes (which i tried) or tell those idiots that judge by looks to go die in a hole (which i also tried. it works greatly~)