I spent all day cooking this really nice dinner for a bunch of my friends, and this guy I like was supposed to be there…so I wanted to show off my AMAZING cullinary abilities. Anyway, I got this nice outfit on and dinner was going great, we were all laughing and flirting and it was a really good night. But, as I came out of the kitchen with a fabulous chocolate something, I noticed they were all staring at me strangely. Then the guy I like comes up to me and takes the dessert away while leaning in to whisper, “You’re dress is open.” I look down and am horrified to see my chest out in all it’s glory. The guy kind of smirked at me and I laughed with much embarrasment, running out of the room. I couldn’t bring myself to look at them after that, and they all left, laughing their heads off. I am so lame. I should’ve handled it gracefully, but instead I was a coward. I suck. And WHAT was that smirk about??
Monthly Archive for September, 2008
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I am stuck between a rock and a hard place! My wife always has an excuse on why she doesn’t want to have sex with me. Oral sex, forget about it. I get so mad at night that I literally want to leace the house and pick up a ramdom fluzy. I have no problems picking up chicks but my conscience is a convicting hawk. I have a chance to dick down an old fling. Should I??? |
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So I ask out this girl. I take her to your typical downtown fancy restaraunt. I’m tall, blonde hair, very athletic, and am a medical doctor. Can’t go wrong. Mid way through appetizers my stomach starts feeling bad. I make a few trips to the bathroom. On the third trip back my dates face is beet red. I ask her what’s wrong she says there’s a stream of toilet paper dangling from the back of your pants. I turn to find 4 feet of toilet paper, a veritible streamer, trailing me. Oh and everyone one in the place saw it. She excuses herself and doesn’t return. |
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My friend, who I happen to be head over heels for, did something rather odd this morning. He walked into me, but in the way where you can tell he meant to do it just to touch me. That’s what I thought. When he walked by again, I moved just a bit closer, so that his shoulder would touch mine. The result? A disgusted stare, and a ‘What the heck?’ Of course, everyone in the room saw my obvious display of desire, and watched me get rejected. Not fun. |
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Okay…so I was at a party with a guy that I’m totally gooey over. Love him, love to think about him, so on, so forth. But apparently I’m not good enough for him. He wanted me and some other chick, (that I happen to loathe with a passion) to fool around together just to, you know, “get him hot” What a dick. Now, I’m not stuck up. I’ve done unspeakable things in the bedroom, but why did this guy have ruin what admiration I had for him? he has horrible taste. a taste for the girl i HATE…..life sucks, and here I am, making my ears pop…oh well, screw him. i dont want a guy who would actually f**k that hole anyway…. |
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I am married to a wife who provides no sex. In the event we have sex, which is about once every 15 months, she complains about work during the whole thing. That’s right, my wife bitches about work during sex. So any oral sex being performed is being performed by me because her mouth is too busy whining about her female boss or some other jack ass at work. Well the other day while enduring one of our lame sexual encounters she got so busy bitching and complaining she started bitching about her lesbian lover. My pain in the ass wife, who spends all her money on herself and leaves all the bills to me and drives a Mercedes which I pay for is cheating on me with a woman. My life totally sucks. Here is the only upside. At first I felt horrible as though I was such a bad man my wife found real sensitivity in another woman. Then I found out the other woman is a, get this, a professional ‘psychic’ and has long history of conning people. My dumbbell money bags wife has been bank rolling this shyster for over 11 months. I wonder if her psychic friend predicted the divorce papers I served her 2 weeks ago. |
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I can sympathize with the comments from the guy earlier. I’m similar to him… just the nice guy that girls like, but dont wanna sleep with. I have tons of friends that are girls, but never girlfriends… I’m 38, live at home and have had sex with 1 girl my whole life… that’s right ONE(only dated for about a month). Over the past 10 years I’ve spent about $30,000 in strip clubs. stupid, stupid, stupid. My logic is: sure, I can see free porn everyday on the internet, but to get beyond the 1 dimensional and get to see tits and pussy, might as well go to a tittie bar cause I dont get it anywhere else… Might as well put my $$ down the toilet cause I dont see it anymore and I dont get anything special benefits there… that’s all I’ll spare you for now… |
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I’m a fairly ok looking guy, in good shape, not fat or have a giant orange mohawk and messed up teeth or anything crazy. I’m nice, normal, not amazing or super cute or charming. I just don’t understand whats wrong with me, I cant get girls to like me. Never ever once in my life has a girl EVER liked me except maybe a couple crushes when I was 7. But those didn’t matter. I can talk to girls ok, but always get intimidated by other guys talking to girls I’m interested in. |
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I went through my whole life being rejected. Finally i fall inlove with someone that falls inlove with someone else. |
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I work at Wells Fargo…. need I say more |
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