Because shit happens - to all of us.
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yesterday evening i was seating at a terrace, and saw a friend on the other side of the street. won’t call him again soon … |
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During my last german oral exam (an analysis of a business situation), after 5mn fighting (struggling?) with declensions, the examinator asked me to finish in english … |
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Last Sunday, my 6 year old thought it was a good idea to bury his teddy bear Gildo - who apparently died fighting a G.I. Joe …. - the same way we buried Martin, his goldfish. It took me 2 hours to unclog the toilet and sponge the bathroom … |
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Today I had a meeting in which I was presenting the marketing plan of my dept for the next quarter. When I asked my assistant “how do i look ?”, she didn’t tell me my fly was open. |
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yesterday evening we celebrated a new contract with some colleagues. i was soaked in vodka and knackered when i got home, but did my best to not wake up my girlfriend. |
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when i was young, on a saturday night while my parents were out, i turned on TV to an adult channel, lied down on the living room sofa, and waited for the free porn (”free porn, free porn !!!”) to start. but i was tired, very tired - and fell asleep. next thing i know, my parents wake me up laughing at me, my pants are on my knees, and a german couple is having “adult fun” on tv …. life sucks sometimes …!! |
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i arrived in the lunch room today, about 12 people already siting at the table. i’m happy, it’s nice out, and i launch a loud “hello everyone !”. of course, nobody replies to me (besides the cleaning lady). |
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today, i went commando to a picnic with friends in the park. did that to please my girlfriend - she seems to like that. |
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for the third time this month my card is being refused while paying for dinner …. |
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This morning, as my boyfriend was about to leave the apparment to get to work (big meeting), I realized he was wearing a brown and a black shoe (he is stressed). I called him to stop him before he closed the door. |
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yesterday evening, i had an epiphany: if i can watch my neighbors in the opposite building in the evening, so can they. i had that epiphany naked, as i am naked all the time at home. |
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I was with this girl a couple of years ago and the first time we had sex, when I finished, she looked at me really bored and said “That’s it?”… Life sucks sometimes! |
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This happened a couple of years ago while I was doing an internship in France. My boss told me he had a meeting, since we shared the same office, I knew this meant I would be alone for a while. That’s when I decided to make myself confortable and let this awful fart out. Well the second the smell started to spread my boss came back into the office saying that the meeting was cancelled. He had a weird look on his face though and said “I think we have a dead rat behind a wall… Ooh that smell!”, while looking at me with a smile… |
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A family trip to the water park turned into more than I bargained. My sister and I waited for over an hour at the boogie board ride. A foot bridge offered those waiting a view on those showing off their skills on the ride. Finally, my turn came. I swooped into the ride, going up one side, then promptly falling off the board and having the rush of the water swiftly remove my trunks to reveal to those waiting my full frontal self. My trunks washed away and I was left to chase after them naked. |
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13 years old, and I was on my first overseas adventure. We were group of students traveling to Paris to see all the sights. While waiting in line for the river boat tour, I yelled back to my friend Josh who was in line behind us. Only my voiced croaked in a booming pubescent squeal. That impressed all the girls in our group, especially the one I had a crush on. I\’m still embarrassed. |
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True story: I’m in front of the whiteboard in physics class, doing a presentation. I have a cold and I’m about to sneeze for the 3rd time, but fortunately manage to pinch my nose to keep it in. It did keep my sneeze “in”, but the pressure had to come out anyways … That’s how I left a loud high-pitched wind escape in front of 40 of my school mates. |
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i am proud: i eventually manage an intern (they told me at the last minute). |
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on the terrace today, one of the managers asked me how long my internship was. it’s the second time this week. i’ve been with company for 5 years… |
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at lunch, i grabbed a sandwich and went to central park to seat and enjoy the sun (and forget my boss). i remove my jacket and my tie, lay them on the bench, close my eyes and relax. |
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i spent last week end writing comments under different names on my blog to pretend it was receiving lots of traffic… |
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